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Arriving home yesterday, I had a good laugh when I found a brand new Yellow Page phone book sitting on our porch.

A new Yellow Pages arrived at our door


I contemplated taking it directly to our recycle bin… What a waste!

I decided to offer it as a history lesson to my kids, like I did a few months ago when we found a lonesome phone booth.

“Hey kids, check this out. Someone left it outside of our door for us.” I dropped the heavy book onto our kitchen island.

“What is it?” kids. The kids eyed the free book suspiciously.

“Open it and see for yourself.” me.

They opened the book and flipped to a few random sections of it. Clearly, pages after pages of perfectly serious lists of phone numbers had them puzzled.

Just names and phone numbers


“Look, it says plumbers here. It has all their names and phone numbers. What is it for?” 12 year-old.

“Wow, it’s just a list of people’s phone numbers. Is this a phone book?” teen.

“Right. This is the Yellow Pages, a phone book of local businesses. So if you ever need a plumber you can call one of them.” me.

“How do you know which one to call? And where is the review?” teen.

“No reviews! You just pick a name and a number to call when you need service or a product.” me.

“You had no idea and just had to make a call?” teen, frowning.

“The old days were tough on us.” me, sad faced. “Although, miraculously, when we needed a plumber and called someone off of that book, you could expect a plumber to show up and fix your pipe.”

That’s right, I used to get my plumbing fixed without learning how my plumber had previously replaced a family’s old water-heater with superhero speed, or how this same plumber had previously liberated a minor water leak into an all out flood.

I asked my children what we should do with our Yellow Pages. They told me to recycle it. We have Google and Yelp now.

I felt bad for the brand new book, and especially for the poor tree that had to be sacrificed for such a needless purpose. I guess it’s better to recycle it, so it can reincarnate quickly into a more useful existence.

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A Blast to the Past

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Do you just not feel like making dinner on some days?

I do! I did not feel like making dinner yesterday.

I had a 3 course meal all planned out in my head, then by the early afternoon, a sudden wave of laziness washed over me. I threw the defrosted meats back into the freezer.

I was going to pull my VISA card trick for takeout.

Except, it is not that easy to be me these days… My baby can’t eat gluten. You may not know this, but gluten and fast food are best friends, and they don’t like to be separated.

It is every parent’s duty to feed their offspring, right?

So, by 6PM, I found myself looking frantically into the refrigerator and seeing what could be put together for my celiac child.

That fresh loaf of gluten free bread I made on Sunday came in handy when I found butter and cheese.

Homemade gluten free bread


I can make a mean gluten free grilled cheese sandwich, assisted by two thin slices of low fat, low sodium spam.

Buttered GF bread with cheese and ham


The key is to generously butter the bread on both sides, lightly toast both sides of the bread, add high quality cheese, add spam or ham, and toast the sandwich on both sides on low heat until the cheese melts in the center.

Pan grilled on low heat


Dinner is served!

Gluten free grill cheese sandwich with a side of fruit and milk


The baby clapped her hands approvingly at the sight of her dinner.

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Four tickets to a football game at the Levi’s Stadium!!! Woohoo!

Levi Stadium Tickets

No, it is not the 9ers game, and it is so not the NFL! It is to watch my teen’s high school’s varsity football game!!!

That’s right, our high school football team got to play at the 49ers new stadium. What a splendid opportunity to go see the much talked about new stadium without all the crowd and their notorious game day traffic. Inexpensive tickets, too!

Even though the stadium was only half full, the food services were still open. So, we loaded up on unhealthy football food.

Garlic Fries

My dinner


Families were out in school gears and cheered for their teams. It was a fun night.

Cheering fans

So the final score really wasn’t important.

Since we had the late game that started at 8PM, we did not get home until around midnight.

Did I get to sleep in on my weekend morning? NO! My alarm clock jolted my eyes wide open at 7AM on Saturday morning.

I had to take my 15-year-old to her Water Polo tournament on Saturday. She had two games that day, but of course, one had to be an early morning game, and the second one in the mid afternoon. Who needs a whole Saturday anyway.

Water Polo game


On a positive note, Water Polo is a fast paced, thrilling, and fun game to watch. I am surprised that it isn’t more popular in the US. It is way more exciting than soccer or baseball.

On Sunday, I got to watch my 12-year-old play Volleyball for 2 hours.

2 hours of Volleyball on Sunday


I watched a lot of games this past weekend, and it really tired me out.

Thank goodness for Mondays!

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The Time Has Come…

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“Mr. Fairweather would say that you are not critically thinking.” the baby said judgmentally to me.

Mr. Fairweather is my 12 year-old’s Logic and Reasoning teacher at the her new middle school. He has only been teaching the baby this subject for a grand total of 3 weeks, and already Mr. Fairweather has had a lot to say about me.

I have a whole bag of tricks to deploy whenever my children are acting all sassy toward me. One such trick is to play deaf.

“WHAT?” me to the sassy baby.

“Mr. Fairweather would say that you are not critically thinking!” baby shouted louder from the family room.

“What? What?” I shouted right back from the kitchen, pretending that the stove fan was too loud to hear her.

“OH!!”, the baby dropped what she was doing, and walked over with a great deal of fanfare, pointed a finger at me, and accused me with: “you never listen to your children!”

“Why do I have to listen to you?! I don’t have to listen to you kids.” me.

“Then why did you have us?” the sassy one demanded.

“Oh, I did not have you so I can listen to you.” me, paused to let the message sink in, “I had you so you can listen to me.”

HAaa ha ha…

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A screaming battle between some pigeons that took up residence just above our bedroom roof woke me up just after 7AM.

I cursed these feathered squatters. They ruined my plan to sleep in on my weekend morning.

Unable to go back to sleep, I eyed my bedside clock, and pondered what to do…

I rolled out of bed, headed over to my teen’s bedroom, and invited my 14-year-old to go for a walk with me.

15 minutes later, we got ourselves a bottle of water, drove 2-3 minutes to the parking lot that leads to the walking path, and off we went.

It turned out to be a gorgeous morning for a peaceful and leisurely walk.

Our nearby walking trail


The air was crisp, with a light breeze that carried just the right amount of coolness. There wasn’t the slightest hint of the strong heat that was promised to descend upon us as the day progressed.

Miles long walking trail


Signs of drought along our walking path

Endless walking trails

Ah…life is good.

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Mount Rainier

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I don’t know about you. But I hate making a call to any big corporation’s 1-800-Customer Service line. They all seem to have this exceptional ability to suck out any positive energy I have, leaving me livid by the end of the call, and ruining the rest of my day.

I had to call Capital One, my VISA card company this morning. I had no reason to sweat this call. I had a very simple request. A request they have been known to enjoy performing. I wanted a new VISA card.

I cheerfully dialed the 800 number on the back of my card. First, their machine picked up and played a series of phone maze with me. I played along nicely and correctly, and was rewarded with a member of my own species on the other line.

I answered all of Tracy’s security questions, and got to state the reason for my call.

“My family will be traveling to Europe this summer. I found out that many of the businesses there can only process credit cards with smart chips on them. So, I need to get this card replaced with a new one with smart chip.” me.

Smart Chip Credit Card for travel aboard


“Oh, that’s great. We are in the process of replacing all our customers’ credit cards with smart chips.” Tracy.

See! An easy call. I happily interrupted, “ All my other credit cards and ATM cards have been recently replaced with smart chip ones. This is the only card I have left without it.”

Tracy, “Yes, yours will be coming in the mail soon. Any time between now until the end of this year.”

“But I need to use the new smart chip card this summer. So, I need you to send me this new card now.” me, still happy.

“Oh, I am sorry. I can’t just send these cards to you. It is all been processed by a system, and I can only tell you that you will received yours before the end of the year.” Tracy stated in that deliberate even paced polite tone that I have come to dread.

I think that deliberate polite tone in a live person is not better than speaking with a robot. I was against having my day ruined by Tracy, so I asked to speak with a supervisor.

Brian came to the line after a few minutes and identified himself as the supervisor. He stated the same message as Tracy about smart chip cards.

“You are seriously telling me that you can not send me new cards?!!” me, in total disbelief, and no longer happy.

What kind of twisted company is this…

This is one of the companies that have been terrorizing my mailbox and spam folder almost daily with new credit card offerings. Now, I personally call them to send me one, and they refuse!

“I can send replacement new cards, but the smart chipped ones are done by our system.” Brian.

“…” I was speechless.

“If your new card doesn’t arrive in time, you can still take this card to Europe. VISA and Mastercard have contracts with the merchants to honor the old cards until the end of the year.” Brian.

“That is not true. I have tried to purchase train tickets with local operators in Europe with this card, and I have already been declined multiple times. This is why I called you.” me.

I learned from a travel forum that many European merchant processors can only process credit cards with smart chips.

“That is against VISA rules. When this happens on your trip, you can write down these business names, and report them to VISA when you come home.” Brian.

“That does not help me. When I take VISA on a vacation, I just want to use it to pay for things. I don’t want to go to Europe to write down all the businesses that are in violation of some rules, and report them.” me.

“Okay, I understand.” Brian.

SIGH…

“I always thought that you are in the business to send people your credit cards. Just tell me why you can not send me my smart chipped card now, because you are about to send me anyway.” me.

“Well…” Brian, then finally, “We have millions of customers. So, I can’t just pull you out of the line.”

Ha, ha, ha… I had to laugh.

I always felt insignificant when dialing these 800 numbers. I was thrilled to finally have my feelings validated.

“Okay Brian. I don’t have millions of cards, but I do have 8 other credit cards (already with smart chips). I will just take one of my other cards on the trip.” me.

“Thank you for your help today.” I tapped the end call icon.

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“Tuesdays will be pizza nights for the next few weeks!” I declared to the kids.

“YEAH!!!” Kids responded joyfully.

My homemade gluten free pizza

We have got volleyball practices on Tuesdays from 6-7PM. As head coach of a volleyball team, I am obligated to be there at 5:30PM to set up the court, and to take the court down after the games. This schedule makes dinner nearly impossible. But the family still demands to eat their dinner never the less.

Pizza to the rescue! I decided that pizza is the easiest meal to prepare on such a day.

I gathered and prepared all the pizza ingredients just before we left for practice.

Toppings ready to go...


All your must haves are pizza dough, pizza sauce, and cheese.

We love Venice Bakery's Gluten Free pizza crust

Gluten free pizza sauces


The rest is just gravy, and it depends on what you like, or perhaps what you can find in your fridge.

My kids love cheese pizza with bacon.

So, I cut up a generous amount of bacon, fried them, and put them aside.

Bacon!


Hubby and I prefer a pizza with more stuff on it. So, I sliced up one tomato, some Canadian bacon, and I happened to have half of a Portuguese sausage in my fridge that was left over from a weekend breakfast.

Fresh ingredients


I sliced up the sausage and Canadian bacon, and set them aside with some fresh sweet basil.

Oh, and I chopped up some garlic. I always put fresh garlic on my pizzas.

After practice, I pre-heat the oven to 475 degrees, then start to put the pizzas together.

I spread my gluten free pizza sauce onto my GF pizza dough. If you like ranch dressing like we do, it makes a great pizza sauce! It does, try it.

Pizza crust covered in Ranch dressing


For pizza #1, I spread Mozzarella cheese on top of the Ranch dressing sauce, then added the pre-cooked bacon, and sprinkle it with fresh chopped up garlic.

Bacon white pizza


For pizza #2, I spread cheese on top of the pizza sauce, added tomato slices, arranged the Canadian bacon and Portuguese sausage on top, then added the fresh sweet basil and garlic.

I put the pizzas in the oven at 475 degrees for 10 minutes. After I return from a quick shower, the pizzas were perfectly ready to be eaten.

Yum...


So delicious, and a good way to get rid of random leftovers sitting in the fridge too.

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We just sat down to a late dinner last Tuesday.

“You will not believe what happened to me today.” me.

“What happened?” 14 year-old looked up from across the dinner table.

“You know how I signed up to be Tasterbach’s assistant Volleyball coach?” me.

“Yeah.” 14 year-old.

“Well! Today at the opening, I saw on the roster that our team had no head coach listed!” me, wide eyed.

“So, who is the real coach?” 14 year-old.

“Exactly! I went and asked the site director, and do you know what she said?” me.

“What?” teen.

“She said that makes me the head coach!!” me, even more wide eyed.

“Ha, ha, ha..” teen.

I was not upset with the teen. That was my sentiment also. I only signed up to be the assistant coach, thinking I would be helping out with setting up the court, taking down the court, and running around to retrieve run-away balls for the team in between.

“EXACTLY! I told her that I can’t coach the team. I don’t actually know how to play volleyball, and I have never coached any sport before.” me.

“What did she say?” teen.

“She said sorry. There is no one else to coach this team.” me.

“I am totally stressed out. I don’t know how to coach, and I don’t know how to play volleyball. I am 100% under qualified for this job!” me, totally unhappy with my unexpected promotion.

“Don’t worry, Mom. You just Google how to coach volleyball. It will probably take you to wikiHow, and it will give you step by step instructions on how to teach volleyball to your kids.” teen.

Blank stare at the teen.

“Seriously! Try it. It will be easy.” teen, fully convinced with this advice.

How to Coach Volleyball on wikHow

I survived two practice sessions with my team of 7 kids already.

Volleyball practice

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A New Experience

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My sister recently got me this 5 lb bag of Jules Gluten Free flour. She knew I am still on my baking binge. Bless her heart.

Gluten free flour


In the past, a 5 lb bag of flour could take me 10 years to use. I did not bake, and rarely used flour in my cooking. But now, with a young celiac in the house, who often craves sweet dough, I quickly took up baking.

Last Sunday, I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making gluten free donuts.

I simply mixed some egg, vanilla, buttermilk, and cooking oil into my flour, and turned it into dough that took on the scent of heavenly vanilla and buttermilk.

GF dough


A nice roller pin and donut cutter shaped the dough.

Get in shape! donuts


I popped the dough into a fryer hot with oil, and in just a few short minutes, we got fresh gluten free donuts!!

Just of the fryer


All donuts deserve a good glaze. So, I wiped up a quick glaze with the help of lot of powdered sugar, a small amount of milk, and a small amount of maple syrup.

homemade syrup

This simple syrup glazed my donuts beautifully.

glazed donut


Of course, one must not forget to make some donut holes…

Perfect donut holes


In about an hour or so, we got a fresh plate of glazed donuts, sugar donuts, cinnamon sugar donuts, and donut holes.

Gluten free donut is served


It is not fair to say that I am on a mission to feed delicious gluten free foods to my baby. I am simply obsessed about it!

As our stomachs were still digesting the donuts, a fresh loaf of gluten free buttermilk bread came out of our bread machine, looking and smelling magnificent.

Gluten free buttermilk bread


You know it is good bread when the gluten-eating members of the family were demanding their fair share too.

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“Time for dinner!” I shouted out to the kids.

Kids came running down the stairs, and plopped down to their chairs.

After a couple of gulps of milk, they busied themselves with piling food onto their plates.

“Hey! My cousin just moved out of her parents’ house last weekend!” I said.

The kids nodded.

“It is about time! She is 28 already.” me.

“Well, she did just finish graduate school.” me.

Kids ate rather quietly.

“I did encourage her to move out. Young people must establish their independence, and learn to live on their own.” me.

Kids chewing.

“I love you kids, but when you grow up, you must learn to be independent.” me.

Every now and then, I found myself conducting a conversation all by myself at the dinner table, so their silence wasn’t unusual. (In case you were worried about me.)

“Your mom and dad can not take care of you forever, so you must learn to live on your own, and do it well.” me.

“Just like those cute lion and cheetah cubs you saw in South Africa, those cute little things will need to master the skills to kill and hunt on their own someday to survive.” me.

“It is actually not much different for us humans…” me.

“Mom.” 14 year-old interrupted.

I looked up at my teen.

“When I turn 18…” 14 year-old paused for dramatic effect.

It worked, all eyes were on her.

“You guys are moving out.” 14 year-old.

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