I was busy in the warehouse yesterday mid-morning, when I got a call from a friend.

“Jenny! Would you like to eat lunch today?” Elly.

I readily accepted the lunch invitation. I like to eat lunch everyday.

Half an hour later, Elly pulled up in her big Mercedes to pick me up. She wore a pair of huge designer sunglasses that hid most of her face, and had her hair tied up into a ponytail behind her baseball cap.

“I am taking you to a Korean restaurant today.” Elly said coolly.

We usually eat at Korean restaurants together.

“Oh, great! I am going to try something totally different today.” me

“What does that mean?” Elly threw me a look.

“It means I am not going to eat Korean BBQ beef again. I want to try something different. Maybe I will order what you order…” me babbling.

“I don’t know…” shaking her head.

“YES! I am tired of BBQ beef. I will have what you will have for a change.” me, rebellious.

We arrived at a small family-owned Korean restaurant earlier than the usual lunch hour. The tables were scantly filled, with a handful of Korean-looking patrons.

We got the same dish. I don’t recall the name of the dish, but it was rice, with beef, vegetables, eggs, and it was delivered to us sizzling hot in a thick hot clay pot.

“Hey, I like this.” I was pleased with my meal.

When the noon hour approached, the lunch crowds filed in, and the little restaurant filled up quickly.

I noted that Elly grew quiet, but I ignored her, and carried on a one-sided conversation with her all by myself. Then she spoke.

“Why do you eat so slowly!” Elly. It wasn’t a question, it was an accusation.

I had one minor problem with the lunch: it was the hot clay pot that it came in. The pot kept the food super hot, so I had to air each bite to avoid burning myself.

“Because it is hot!” I shot back, pointing at the clay pot.

“He, he, he…” she covered her mouth, and laughed.

She recovered, then surprised me with, “Okay, are you done? We have to go.”

“No, I am not done! Why do we have to go?” I was barely half way through with my lunch. And she was not done either!

Ignoring me, she waved our waiter down, asked for the bill and two boxes.

“I am still eating…” waving my chopsticks at her.

The restaurant was very small, before I know it, the waiter came back with the bill and two boxes, and Elly immediately handed him her credit card. At least the witch was paying!

I had an incredulous look on my face, and Elly addressed it. She instructed me with tedious detail, how to take the rest of my lunch home, how to cook it, and how to eat it with great pleasure at home. I watched her lips moving, and wanted to scream at her. I KNOW how to reheat leftovers!!!

I bit my tongue, as I dumped my lunch into the to go box. I didn’t want to wage a war in the restaurant.

Left Over Korean Lunch

When we made our exit, I kept my temper in check. I concluded that she must have some shameful urgent matter to attend to, and forcing the explanation of her abrupt behavior might embarrass her.

As we walked together on the sidewalk back to her car, she tapped my arm suddenly.

She had my attention. She then pointed to a coffee shop with a charming outdoor seatting area across the street.

“Hey, let’s go have coffee. You pay for the coffee.” Elly.

“YOU HAVE TIME FOR COFFEE! Then why can’t I finish my lunch?!” I was reduced to shouting in public.

“Oh! He, he, he….” Elly, then continued, “Did you notice the big table of people sitting right next to us?”

There was a huge long table next to us, and a big group of people did sit down there during our lunch.

“What about them? You know those people? Is one of them your enemy?” me, sounding irritated.

“No! I don’t know them. But they are SO annoying! I lost my appetite.” Elly.

“What did they do?” me, much more calmly.

“It was the way they talked. I couldn’t stand it. I just had to leave.” Elly.

“What did they say? And why were you listening to other people’s conversations? I hardly noticed them.” me.

“You are oblivious!” Elly, “It was a couple of women in that group, oh, their voice.”

“You are that annoyed with people’s voice?!” me.

“No! They kept asking their waiter those stupid questions about Korean dishes.” Elly.

I paused for a while…and took a deep breath.

“Let’s get this straight. You are offended…. because some white women asked their waiter questions about Korean dishes that you thought were stupid.” me, looking straight into her eyes.

“YES!!!” Elly answered with unrestrained excitement. She must be thrilled that her demented rationale could be seemingly understood by another human soul.

I held on to my stomach, and burst into laughter.

Have you ever looked at your friends, and wondered what made them friends?

Elly is deeply flawed. She conducts herself in defiance to logic regularly. Abrupt and erratic behavior are her norm. And her worst trait didn’t even surface in our botched lunch. Yet, I can look past all that, and appreciate the great humor and comic relief her presence often creates. Untamed laughter are good for the senses.

She has even better reasons to call me a friend. She knows the next time she rings me, I can be expected to not only answer her call, but be happy to eat lunch with her again. I tolerate her madness with ease.

We walked into the coffee shop, and ordered our drinks. Then she found a table outside, and sat there like a queen, waiting for me to bring her the coffee. I brought the coffee out, and we immediately settled into stimulating women talk.

“Do you ever check your husband’s phone and email accounts behind his back?” Elly.

“No.” I answered dryly.

“Because you totally trust him?” Elly.

“No. Because I might bore myself to death.” me.

HA, Ha, ha, haaa….

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Category: Humor, Parents
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