I seriously underestimated the frail and thin looking middle aged masseuse in her light pink uniform, when I told her that I prefer heavy handed massages. I spent most of my massage session under her wondering when it would be over. My friend booked me for a two hour full-body message at one of her favorite spas in Taipei.

I had good reason for enduring my masseuse for two hours without once begging for mercy. Back at home, I often paid more for a deep tissue message because I considered the Swedish massage too mild. This had me associate pain with value in massages, and this frail looking lady gave me a great deal of pain for the same amount of money. I kept thinking that I was getting a great bargain.

I knew something was not right when I could feel her elbows on my back and her knees on my buttocks. Ouch…ouch…ouch. Luckily I gave birth before, and suddenly I recalled the special breathing technique used during delivery. I breathed laboriously in a quiet way to avoid causing a commotion.

Her elbows and knees dealt the worst blows, whenever I could feel them on any part of my body, I shrieked in fear in anticipation of sharp pain. To my surprise, the worst pain was felt on my buttocks whenever her knees are applied. I had not expected the most naturally padded part of the body to be so weak. Of course, my behind is new to this experience–back at home, what is between the tail bone and legs is off limits.

When I had to turn around to face up, I was happy that she brought a towel to cover my entire mid section. At least, they are off limits here too. Wrong! Apparently, I am much too sheltered by my previous massage experience, on HER bed, the breasts are just regular muscles, and they each received a good 10 minutes of rough handling. Two hours is way too long for a massage…

After my session, I was happy to just be in the spa area again. I went in to soak in their big Jacuzzi bath to nurse my body for a long time.

Today, my body felt as if I spent the previous day fighting someone. But… I paid just over $70 for the 2 hour massage, a 20min Back scrap, lunch, and the use of all the spa facility. What a sweet deal! I could totally do this all over again.