“WHAT?! YOU snowboard?!”

When a friend found out that I went snowboarding over Christmas holiday, she immediately engaged in shocking disbelief.

“Do you REALLY?” friend.

“Yes. I do. I can go all day on Blue runs without falling down. Black runs are too steep for me. I don’t like Green runs, because too many beginners there, and sometimes they like to crash into me.” I dryly stated.

“Wow. I just can’t picture you snowboarding…” friend.

This is true. My friend’s limited imagination can only seem to cast me wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants doing a sport appropriate for Asians. This is the same gal that kept recruiting me to go play badminton with her. I kept informing her that I don’t play badminton, and have never owned any badminton equipment.

“YOU snowboard!…hmmmm” friend.

Seeing how she was still struggling with picturing me doing a cool sport, I developed a soft spot for her, and decided to let her in on the truth about me and snowboarding.

“Okay. This might make it easier on you. When I snowboard, I don’t look cool like the rest of them.” I volunteered.

“What do you mean?” she asked calmly. Finally, she took a break from her own drama.

“I have this pillow, about half the size of a regular pillow, that I stuff into my ski pants to pad my butt when I board.” me.

“……..” she had a blank look on her face. So, I continued….

“I wear a butt pillow on the slopes. To protect my tail bone! In case I fall.”I exclaimed. Then added, “I look like I have a HUGE butt.”

“So, you snowboard with a big butt?!” friend.

“Aha, ha, ha….” the image of me with an unnaturally protruding butt finally made it into her head.

“Hey! Big butts are sexy! Some men like big butts you know.” me.

“HHAAA…..HA, HA, HA….” friend.

WITCH!

When I got home later that day, I had this urgent motivation to go online and find professional padded snowboarding pants. Within minutes, I found and ordered padded pants on xportsprotective.com. It even had a cool name: Crash Pads 2200 Thermal Padded Pants.

I was really excited when my Crash Pads 2200 arrived a few days later. I immediately took it out of the box, and wiggled my way in.

I chuckled as I observed myself in my new armor in front of the mirror. The Crash Pads 2200 protects more than just the tail bone that my make-shift butt pillow once did. It features generous sized padding for hips, quads, knees, buttocks, and then the tail bone. My legs looked like they belonged to a professional athlete, who was perhaps abusing steroids.

Crash Pads 2200 Thermal Padded Pants


Well, maybe no one will notice once I hide my padded pants under my ski pants. I just hope the extra padding won’t hinder my movement and deliberately make me fall.

Later that night, my husband came home.

“My padded pants arrived today!” I announced.

“Cool, put it on. Let me see.” hubby.

“It is wet, I washed it earlier.” Of course, the Crash Pads 2200 required hand wash and line dry.

“That’s too bad. I was hoping you would model it for me.” hubby.

“Trust me. It is not a sexy look.” shaking my head.

“He, he.” he laughed knowingly.

Images of me on the slopes have never been sexy for this poor man.

  • Share/Save/Bookmark
Category: Humor, Parents
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.
One Response
  1. [...] My Crash Pads 2200 is awesome!! I love it. Read my previous post about snowboarding. Category: Family Travel Blogs, Kids, Parents You can follow any responses to this entry [...]