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Six months ago, on Dec 4th, 2013, an annual doctor checkup landed us in the Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital’s Emergency Room.

We had been very healthy, and were unprepared by the sight of the ER. It was packed with miserable-looking sick people, waiting to be seen. I feared that we would be stuck there all night, and we were going to miss our dinner.

“Don’t worry. You won’t be waiting here long. You will be seen shortly.” the nurse that checked us in told me plainly.

She was right. We were expedited thanks to our primary doctor who had called us in and made arrangements for us. We were a real emergency.

A hospital staff escorted us to another area of the hospital.

It was their pediatrics’s ER room. I vaguely remembered a colorful room decorated to please young children, with cartoonish posters hung on pastel colored walls, and toys on the tables. The room had very comfortable couch for the parents to sit in.

We sat there with one other family. Their toddler was playing with one of the wooden toys. The mood in the room was grim. Various smiling nurses and ER physicians came in to greet us and tried to calm our nerves.

Soon, we were lead into a room that had just been prepared for us. It had a hospital bed, with a nice flat screen TV hanging from the ceiling. Also in the room was a desk and chair. My 13-year-old promptly plopped down there, and proceeded to do her homework.

The kind nurse told us that there were many cartoons and Disney movies to choose from. But before we started any movies, she helped my 10-year-old into a hospital gown, and settled my baby onto the bed.

My baby.


As soon as a Disney movie was started, physicians and nurses started to come in and out to check the baby’s vitals, and drew blood.

They started an I.V. for the baby to provide for the nutrient for her missing dinner, and to make drawing additional blood work easier. I wasn’t hungry for my dinner. I had long lost my appetite.

They threatened to keep us overnight.

Around 10PM, an ER doctor entered the room and introduced himself.

“We won’t have the blood test results until tomorrow. But we are fairly certain that your child has Type 1 Diabetes.” said the young doctor. Clearly, he was used to giving people terrible news all day long.

DIABETES??! How could this be? Isn’t this a disease for old people, and people who tend to be a little rounder than the general population…I looked down at my baby, who looked thin, who had lost a lot of weight recently. Who was intently watching her Disney movie.

“We can discharge you, and let you all go home tonight. But you must promise to bring her back to our hospital first thing tomorrow morning.” said the doctor.

His discharge offer sounded as if we still had time to just run away from the disease.

Early the next morning, we arrived at the hospital’s pediatrics’s endocrinology clinic. They were expecting us, and after filling out a few forms, we were conducted into a room with a table and some chairs.

We were warmly greeted by 2 or 3 doctors, and two diabetes educators. They introduced themselves as our diabetes team.

The disease comes with its own team? This wasn’t comforting.

We spent most of the day with Barry.

Barry had a warm smile and kind eyes. He spoke with a certain clarity and directness. His mild mannered sense of humor was a god send. These qualities enabled him to effectively articulate all the horrors of living with Type 1 Diabetes while curbing mothers from submitting into uncontrollable sobbing.

“Two things first.” Barry.

“First. I want you to forget all that you have heard or know about Diabetes.” Barry, waving his hands no wildly.

Lucky! I already knew almost nothing to nothing about Diabetes. It doesn’t run in our families.

“Most of what you heard, or what’s out there about Diabetes is for Type 2 Diabetes.” Barry paused, then continued:

“Type 1 Diabetes is nothing like Type 2 Diabetes. They are entirely different.”

We nodded.

“Type 1 Diabetes represents about 5% of diabetic population. It mostly struck young children. That is why it used to be called Juvenile Diabetes. But we do have young adults being diagnosed with it also, so we call it Type 1 Diabetes now. It is the second most common chronic childhood disease after asthma.” Barry.

“T1D is an autoimmune disease. For unknown reasons, the patient’s own immune system starts to mistakenly attacks its body’s own cells. Specifically, the beta cells in the pancreas responsible for making the hormone insulin. With these beta cells destroyed, the body no longer makes insulin, which cause blood sugar level to rise. The child develops Type 1 Diabetes and becomes insulin dependent.” Barry, our educator.

“How is Type 2 different?” me.

“Type 2 diabetics have working beta cells in their pancreas, and produce insulin. But their bodies grow insensitive to insulin, and do not respond to the hormone, causing their blood sugar to rise. They are not insulin dependent. So, they often prescribed with strict dietary restrictions, and heavy exercise. Sometimes, they are given medication to help their body more sensitive to insulin.” Barry.

“Here is my second point to make.” Barry.

I looked at him wide eyed.

He pointed at my baby, and said, “It isn’t your fault that you have Type 1 Diabetes.”

He then pointed at me, and said, “And it isn’t your fault that you child has Type 1 Diabetes.”

“Oh, bless your heart.” I said to him weakly, and may have shed a tear there.

Barry smiled, and explained further to the baby, “You didn’t get your diabetes from eating too much candy, or if you like sugary cereal for breakfast, or maybe you had an extra muffin one day.”

He then bend low to face the baby and grinned, “So, the good thing about Type 1 Diabetes is that there is no dietary restrictions for you at all. You can continue to eat as you please.”

The baby was smiling big. She was probably relieved that she is not doomed to eat boiled vegetables. I was gravely misinformed, and may have warned her that people with diabetes can only eat boiled vegetables and not much else.

“Another great thing about T1D is that with good management, you can continue to live a healthy long life, and you can do anything you want with you life.” Barry.

Then he turned on us, and gave us a long list of the bad things about T1D. It hit us like a ton of bricks.

T1D comes with an evil treatment plan.

T1D Supplies


MDI, it stands for multiple daily injections. We must inject our 10-year-old with insulin whenever she eats meals or snacks with carbohydrates.

“For how long?” I asked.

“Well, there is no cure, remember?” Barry sounded sorry.

“Forever!” me. I tried really hard to not cry. I didn’t want to freak out the baby.

We spent the rest of the day practicing pricking our fingers to check for blood sugar, learning about food and their carbohydrates, and gave ourselves shots filled with saline solution.

Admirably, the baby did everything with great stride, not a single tear, and even with smiles.

After an exhausting 9 hours of T1D crash course, and feeling quite qualified to become a nurse, we were given a nice blue backpack filled with a huge binder with all the information. A starter supply of insulin, syringes, glucose meter, a phone number to check in with them daily, and Rufus, a teddy bear with T1D.

Rufus-our T1D bear from JDRF


We thanked Barry, and took our T1D home with us.

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“I WON!! I won my classroom Science Fair Project!” the baby screaming into my ear, and instantly filling the car with excitement.

“WHAT?!” me, shocked, disbelieving.

“I WON. HA!” the baby waved a fist across her chest, and gave me a triumphed look.

That was the science project that I had made fun of before.

When I first found out that the plot of the project was to explode pumpkins, I condemned it with a strong dose of bad attitude. Then I had told these dimwits (hubby and the baby) that there were no pumpkins this time of the year.

Undeterred, hubby came home with comprises. Soon our kitchen was filled with watermelons, cantaloupes, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, and unfamiliar squashes.

Melons and Squashes


Then hubby and the baby spent three good weekend afternoons, counting and wrapping rubber bands onto their victims, and strangle them with snail speed to their uncommon demise.

Exploding the squashes with rubber bands!

split in half!


Every time a squash or melon split apart, rubber bands, squash parts, and their messy guts flew, and they would cheer gleefully.

Mess...


I would shake my head, and yell out to the backyard, “You guys better clean this stuff up!”

As it turned out, they did have a scientific hypotheses for all their trouble, and it was confirmed by the experiment.

The Winning Project


It even won. The teacher liked it, because she thought it was creative. The kids liked it, because they wish they had thought of it, and got to spend their afternoons torturing squashes.

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06
May

On an early and crisp morning last week, I pulled the car out of the driveway, and proceeded to take my 13-year-old to school.

I hit the button to turn on the radio… a loud and obnoxious rap music busted into my ears.

Who listens to such music so early in the morning?! My thoughts were screaming inside my head.

“Ooh…this is my favorite song!” 13-year-old beamed and started to move with the music on my passenger seat.

“Talk Dirty to me!” 13-year-old singing/rapping along with the radio. The radio was playing the Talk Dirty song by Jason Derulo.

I threw her a quick and deeply concerned look, and observed that she started to wave her arms up in the air and wriggled her hips.

“Talk Dirty to me!” 13-year-old, with deliberate cheesy smiles, acted totally unfazed by my deeply concerned looks.

This 13-year-old was getting fresh with me, and I realized sadly that there was no turning back…to the good old days.

My teen doing the Hula dance at five


Luckily, I am experienced in practicing if you can’t beat them, join them.

“Talk Dirty to me!” I rapped right back at her, showing off my own dance moves in the driver’s seat.

I got a surprised look back.

“TALK DIRTY TO ME!!!” I pointed at my 13-year-old.

“Okay….MUD! Dust, sewage, trash.” 13-year-old.

WHAT?!! Ha, ha, ha.

In the past few days, We have been going around the house, and randomly shouted, “Talk Dirty to me!”

Dirty talks would be shouted back.

Even my 10-year has learned to talk dirty.

“Talk Dirty to me!” me.

“MUD! Toilet plunger, germs, viruses.” 10-year-old.

Today, I discovered that I have new trouble at hand. Jason Derulo has a new song out, and it promises to be my children’s new favorite. The song goes something like this:

“What you gonna do with that big fat butt?
Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle”

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“AI-YA!! You old, confused man. How can you think of such a thing for them to do??” My mother woke up from her afternoon nap, looked out to the backyard and observed my two children engaged in the most unnatural employment.

“This is good fun.” my dad replied easily.

Over Spring Break last week, I had driven 6 hours with my kids to Southern California to visit my parents. The kids were spending a lot of time on their iPad and iPhone while at my parent’s house. One afternoon, my dad called the kids out to work on a project.

In the past, a project typically involves a complicated puzzle, colorful pencils or markers, or a glittering arts and craft kit. They were not prepared for my dad’s wicked project.

An ancient cooking method


Yes, he got out this odd and ancient looking oven thing, and had my 13-year-old build a fire in it. A real fire!

Along with a miserable looking fan, and a once fashionable ripped jeans from Abercrombie & Fitch, my children were cast with perfection into the roles of some poor homeless orphans in China.

Did you see the fan my 13-year-old is holding?? Apparently my dad had inherited the fan that had once belonged to Ji Gong, the legendary drunken monk.

After a nice fire got going, my dad put a wok on it with some food for my kids to cook.

Cooking like the old days


The kids had banished all thoughts of their iPad and iPhone, and spent the afternoon back in old China, likely on a farm, and cooked themselves a simple meal.

The kids carefully nursed their fire, adding more wood, fanning the flame, and waited for their food to cook.

Nursing their stove with care


“What are you guys cooking?” I asked.

“Earth melon.” 10-year-old.

Ahh…earth melon, of course.

Yams are ready


I had a good laugh. What a splendid idea to cook the yam in this manner! It was one of my favorite childhood foods.

The kids loved their yams. Their previous experience with the yam was limited to the mashed type served as a side dish with Thanksgiving dinners, and the mashed type covered under a blanket of marshmallows at Boston Market.

“Mom, when we go home, you need to make us yams like this. This is so good.” 13-year-old.

“You should ask Wai-Gong to let us take that oven home!” 10-year-old.

The ancient oven

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“What is the big idea with the baby’s science project?!!” I stormed upstairs early in the morning, and rudely woke up my husband with my barking.

“What…” he flopped in our bed, then his eyes popped open.

I stood eying him with my arms crossed, “The science project?”.

“Oh…that….” clearly he was trying to gather his wits to confront my hostility. “Yeah…don’t worry, there is going to be science in her science project….probably it will have to do with energy…”

“So, the science project will qualify under physics?” me, sarcastically.

“YES! Physics.” hubby. He is shameless.

I rolled my eyes.

Two weeks ago, my 10-year-old came home all excited that our school’s annual science fair is back. It was taken away last year due to budget cuts.

I had handed off the baby’s science project to my hubby to manage, and paid very little attention to it.

Big mistake!

5th grade Science fair proposal


Early Monday morning, I happened to see the baby’s science project proposal laying on top of her backpack. I decided to take a peek, and saw that the project required a pumpkin, rubber bands, and protective goggles.

“Why do you need a pumpkin and protective goggles for your science project?” I asked the baby.

“We are going to explode a pumpkin with rubber bands!!” the baby announced with unrestrained excitement.

In the past, I had been the one that helped design the kids’ science fair projects. We have had many highly reputable projects, such as an earthquake project where we got permission from the Tech Museum to use their earthquake simulator to conduct experiments, and one year, we had built our own windmill model that powered real light bulbs.

I looked at the baby with a deep frown, and asked calmly, “What science are we supposed to learn from exploding a pumpkin?”

The baby gave me a blank stare, then finally said in a weak voice, “Science is fun…”

The science project proposal was due that day, so it was too late for me to intervene.

However, mother nature will intervene and insist that this project be modified.

My Einstein’s had not considered that there are no pumpkins at this time of the year.

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My 13-year-old is now taller and bigger than me. But that does not stop me from tucking her in at night, accompanied by a fanfare of hugs and kisses. I am not so sure if this nightly ritual is still welcomed anymore. My 13-year-old often awarded this gesture of motherly love with a deliberate frown.

Even our bedtime chitchat is beginning to head downhill…

“So, what did you learn from that Confident Girls book?” 13-year-old.

“What Confident Girls book?” me.

“That book I found on the floor next to your bed.” 13-year-old.

100 Tips for Raising Confident Girls


“Oh! That 100 tips to raise confident girls book!” me.

“Yes. That one. Now, what are some of the tips you learned from it to raise me to be confident?” 13-year-old.

“Hmm….” me. The truth is that book has been sitting next to my bed collecting dust for a number of years now. My kids were toddlers the last time I touched it. But I wasn’t going to come clean to my 13-year-old that I can’t remember a thing from reading that book.

I thought really hard.

I got one!

“Well, one of the tips said that when you do something good. Instead of telling you that I am proud of you, I should hold your shoulders in my hands, look you in the eye, and say ‘Aren’t you proud of yourself?’” me grinning, rather pleased with myself.

“OH! So that’s why you never tell me that you’re proud of me.” 13-year-old.

Bloody murder.

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26
Feb

“Mom, do you have a band-aid?” 13-year-old.

“No. Why? What happened?” me, all concerned in that proper motherly way.

“Oh, I scraped my knee FALLLLing for you.” 13-year-old declared with a wide cheesy smile, and open arms.

I had to laugh.

Encouraged, she asked, “Hey, is your name wifi?”

“What?!” me.

“Because I’m feeling a connection.” displaying yet another winning and cheesy smile.

“Did some boy use these cheesy lines with you today?” me, laughing.

“No. I am practicing with you. Because I plan to try these lines on some poor boys tomorrow.” 13-year-old.

“……” me, “I liked you much better when you were a toddler.”

When my teen was still cute

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11
Feb

“Mom, could you not write me the letter?” baby, with a worrisome frown.

“Of course I have to write you the letter!” me, “It is the only homework your teacher assigned to me this whole school year. How could I not do it?!”

My 10-year-old was the Star Student of the week last week. That involved a big “All About Me” poster, and daily special classroom Star treatment. Thursdays are the parent to Star Student letters day, where we are to write something special and encouraging to our child, which will be read aloud to the entire class.

The baby has been fretting for days to my 13-year-old’s empathetic ears, but always within my earshot, that I was going to write about her chubby cheeks, about loving her to pieces, and about her being an absolutely splendid amazing kid. She predicted that my letter will be utterly embarrassing, that she will have to hide under her desk.

The baby at 9 months


So, I pen-ed her the following letter that was read to her entire 5th grade class:

Dear Tasterbach,

I know you have been dreading this letter, fearing I might say embarrassing mushy and lovey things that will send you diving under your desk.

I don’t want you to hide under your desk. There will be nothing loving in this letter. Instead, I will tell you about a few rotten things you have done to me.

Right from the beginning, you came out bigger than I would have liked. You did not arrive willingly either. You were quite unaware that you have overstayed your welcome, and I had to conspire with my doctor to evict you.

You came out furious. And staged a spectacular protest on the nurse’s weighting station. I asked the doctor if we could send you back. She told me it was too late.

When you finally learn to communicate, your favorite word was “No!” That made you an extremely uncooperative toddler. Even worse, you thought that you had exclusive rights to the word “No”, and would threw a monstrous fit when I applied the “No” against you.

You were especially rotten on an unforgettable Mother’s day.

Your Pre-Kindergarten class invited all the mothers to a Mother’s Day cupcake party. All you had to do was to follow simple instructions and do what the other nice children did, which were to introduce your mom, and show off a couple of pictures you drew for Mother’s Day.

You decided to go off script. You pointed at me, and announced to the class, “This is my mom,” and then deliberately, “She is a drinker.”

Bloody HELL…

The air was immediately sucked out of the room, the grown-ups in the classroom were shooting awkward glances at each other in every direction.

You were oblivious to the eerily silent classroom and my trauma, and had more to say, “She drinks black coffee ALL of the morning,” gave pause, then continued, “and she drinks green tea ALL of the afternoon. That’s my mom!”

Whew…The air was released back in the room, the moms and teachers exploded into laughter and everyone clapped mighty hard.

You beamed with pride with your awesome Mother’s Day speech.

Thank goodness that you are so darn cute all the time. Otherwise, I might have acted on the occasional temptations to wrap you back up, and ship you back to the hospital where you came from.

Love,

Mom.

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“Hey, how are you?” I greeted our favorite waitress at a local Chinese restaurant that we frequent.

“Oh, not so good. I have been worrying over my daughter these days.” she lamented.

I remembered that she has a daughter about my 13-year-old’s age.

“Why? What’s going on with her?” me, anticipating typical teenage issues.

“Her study. My daughter’s English is not so good, she has trouble with comprehension.” waitress.

“Oh. So, she is struggling with English.” me.

“No. SAT.” waitress.

“S.A.T??” me, with a blank look on my face.

“Yes, SAT. The big test for college. I bought her a big book to help her study for it.” waitress.

“Your kid is in high school already?” me.

“No, 8th grade. Same as your older one.” waitress, pointing to my 13-year-old.

“What do you make her study the SAT for?? They don’t start taking that test until their junior or senior year in high school.” me, “Of course she is not ready for the SAT. She is in middle school. SAT is like 3 years away.

“Her English is not good. I want to give her a head start…” waitress.

Before I could lecture her further on her obvious faulty mothering skills, she got called away to another table.

So, I turned my energy onto my family.

“Can you believe this? She makes her 13-year-old practice SAT 3 years too early, then she worries herself over it!” me, “and she’s putting unreasonable stress on the poor kid.”

“You kids are lucky that I don’t cause you stress like that.” me, feeling self-righteous.

My 13-year-old gave me that eye roll.

“WHAT?!” me. “I don’t give you kids stress.” I insisted on my behalf.

“Yes you do!” 13-year-old.

“Okay. But not too often.” me.

Eye roll…

“Once a week or two, maybe?” me.

Kids looked at me with their death stare.

“2 or 3 times a week?” me.

Hubby chimed in, “You don’t give them unreasonable stress, you give our kids reasonable stress.”

“Yes! Some stress is necessary in life. It is my job to teach you kids how to handle stress.” me.

Finally, I had to know, “Just how often do I cause you stress?”

“…..”silence.

“Every other day?…. every day?” me, prompting for an answer.

“Mom, there are many seconds in the day where you aren’t giving us stress.” 10-year-old piped in.

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I have been crazy busy these past few days. So, when I saw my 13-year-old coming down the stairs with a small load of laundry, I made a rare request.

“Hey, do you think you can do my laundry too? With your load?” me.

“Sure.” 13-year-old, and promptly walked back upstairs to gather my laundry basket.

I started to have my 13-year-old do her own laundry just about a year ago, and that has worked out splendidly well. This is the first time I sought her help with mine.

Late Sunday night, I finally walked back upstairs for some well-deserved rest, and saw this theatrical display of our clothes in front of my bedroom.

The laundry


When I provided laundry service to the family, the clean clothes were always nicely hung in their closets or neatly put away in their drawers.

What’s up with teenage brains?! And she only chose to wash 5 shirts out of our basket!! I actually had a good laugh out of this.

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