The Norwegian Dawn, that is.

Ladies and gentlemen, I survived my first cruise.

I have always shunned cruises.

The very idea of being trapped in a boat with thousands of people in the middle of the sea made me queasy. Its notorious amount of food and nonstop feeding frenzy has to be a health hazard. Thousands of overfed cruise passengers disembarking onto the port has always prompted me to turn around and get away fast.

But for one week, I became the cruise tourist I have always feared. I even played the part well.

I ate indiscriminately from morning to bedtime. Hey, if they kept the buffet open until midnight, it meant I should feed myself just before going to bed.

I yelled, screamed, and clapped whenever prompted to do so by their hyper-energetic cruise entertainers.

I danced too.

I participated in day excursions in beautiful settings heavily burdened by commercialization.


The locals armed with goods and food greeted us with extraordinary high price tags, I paid and smiled at them.

I got back on the boat, stole a peaceful moment in the comfort of my own balcony, and took in the beauty of the local scenery one last time before sailing away.


Ship sailed.

I went to get more food.

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