“Mr. Fairweather would say that you are not critically thinking.” the baby said judgmentally to me.

Mr. Fairweather is my 12 year-old’s Logic and Reasoning teacher at the her new middle school. He has only been teaching the baby this subject for a grand total of 3 weeks, and already Mr. Fairweather has had a lot to say about me.

I have a whole bag of tricks to deploy whenever my children are acting all sassy toward me. One such trick is to play deaf.

“WHAT?” me to the sassy baby.

“Mr. Fairweather would say that you are not critically thinking!” baby shouted louder from the family room.

“What? What?” I shouted right back from the kitchen, pretending that the stove fan was too loud to hear her.

“OH!!”, the baby dropped what she was doing, and walked over with a great deal of fanfare, pointed a finger at me, and accused me with: “you never listen to your children!”

“Why do I have to listen to you?! I don’t have to listen to you kids.” me.

“Then why did you have us?” the sassy one demanded.

“Oh, I did not have you so I can listen to you.” me, paused to let the message sink in, “I had you so you can listen to me.”

HAaa ha ha…

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Dirty Talk
Dear Child

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Category: Humor, Parents
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