Archive for » 2015 «

Jun

My baby

Ah…time flies. My baby will be graduating from elementary school tomorrow.

I got a graduation card and enhanced it with a fine looking $100 bill. All the rest of the family had to do was to sign it.

Graduation card with built-in gift

“Can I put a message on the card too?” asked my 14 year-old.

“Of course!” me.

ARGH!! This teenager.

The coded message

“Hey, I didn’t complain that you had to sign the card with Swag Bean. But how could you put a mean message on her graduation card!!” I gave my teen the death stare.

“That’s not a mean message.” teen stated flatly.

I re-examined the message once more.

“What does the corners of your pie hole reaching for the heavens even mean?” me, too dense to solve the puzzle.

My teen placed her two index fingers to the corners of her mouth, and pushed them into her cheeks, and added, “It means I hope she is smiling big!”

“Oh! That’s nice, dear.” me.

Previous related posts: The Big 8
Over the Years
A Grade School Graduation Party

Category: Kids Leave a Comment

May

Another 1-800-Customer Service Call Goes to Bust

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I don’t know about you. But I hate making a call to any big corporation’s 1-800-Customer Service line. They all seem to have this exceptional ability to suck out any positive energy I have, leaving me livid by the end of the call, and ruining the rest of my day.

I had to call Capital One, my VISA card company this morning. I had no reason to sweat this call. I had a very simple request. A request they have been known to enjoy performing. I wanted a new VISA card.

I cheerfully dialed the 800 number on the back of my card. First, their machine picked up and played a series of phone maze with me. I played along nicely and correctly, and was rewarded with a member of my own species on the other line.

I answered all of Tracy’s security questions, and got to state the reason for my call.

“My family will be traveling to Europe this summer. I found out that many of the businesses there can only process credit cards with smart chips on them. So, I need to get this card replaced with a new one with smart chip.” me.

Smart Chip Credit Card for travel aboard

“Oh, that’s great. We are in the process of replacing all our customers’ credit cards with smart chips.” Tracy.

See! An easy call. I happily interrupted, “ All my other credit cards and ATM cards have been recently replaced with smart chip ones. This is the only card I have left without it.”

Tracy, “Yes, yours will be coming in the mail soon. Any time between now until the end of this year.”

“But I need to use the new smart chip card this summer. So, I need you to send me this new card now.” me, still happy.

“Oh, I am sorry. I can’t just send these cards to you. It is all been processed by a system, and I can only tell you that you will received yours before the end of the year.” Tracy stated in that deliberate even paced polite tone that I have come to dread.

I think that deliberate polite tone in a live person is not better than speaking with a robot. I was against having my day ruined by Tracy, so I asked to speak with a supervisor.

Brian came to the line after a few minutes and identified himself as the supervisor. He stated the same message as Tracy about smart chip cards.

“You are seriously telling me that you can not send me new cards?!!” me, in total disbelief, and no longer happy.

What kind of twisted company is this…

This is one of the companies that have been terrorizing my mailbox and spam folder almost daily with new credit card offerings. Now, I personally call them to send me one, and they refuse!

“I can send replacement new cards, but the smart chipped ones are done by our system.” Brian.

“…” I was speechless.

“If your new card doesn’t arrive in time, you can still take this card to Europe. VISA and Mastercard have contracts with the merchants to honor the old cards until the end of the year.” Brian.

“That is not true. I have tried to purchase train tickets with local operators in Europe with this card, and I have already been declined multiple times. This is why I called you.” me.

I learned from a travel forum that many European merchant processors can only process credit cards with smart chips.

“That is against VISA rules. When this happens on your trip, you can write down these business names, and report them to VISA when you come home.” Brian.

“That does not help me. When I take VISA on a vacation, I just want to use it to pay for things. I don’t want to go to Europe to write down all the businesses that are in violation of some rules, and report them.” me.

“Okay, I understand.” Brian.

SIGH…

“I always thought that you are in the business to send people your credit cards. Just tell me why you can not send me my smart chipped card now, because you are about to send me anyway.” me.

“Well…” Brian, then finally, “We have millions of customers. So, I can’t just pull you out of the line.”

Ha, ha, ha… I had to laugh.

I always felt insignificant when dialing these 800 numbers. I was thrilled to finally have my feelings validated.

“Okay Brian. I don’t have millions of cards, but I do have 8 other credit cards (already with smart chips). I will just take one of my other cards on the trip.” me.

“Thank you for your help today.” I tapped the end call icon.

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Category: Family Travel Blogs, Humor, Parents Leave a Comment

May

Pizza…fast, yummy, and gluten free

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“Tuesdays will be pizza nights for the next few weeks!” I declared to the kids.

“YEAH!!!” Kids responded joyfully.

My homemade gluten free pizza

We have got volleyball practices on Tuesdays from 6-7PM. As head coach of a volleyball team, I am obligated to be there at 5:30PM to set up the court, and to take the court down after the games. This schedule makes dinner nearly impossible. But the family still demands to eat their dinner never the less.

Pizza to the rescue! I decided that pizza is the easiest meal to prepare on such a day.

I gathered and prepared all the pizza ingredients just before we left for practice.

Toppings ready to go...

All your must haves are pizza dough, pizza sauce, and cheese.

We love Venice Bakery's Gluten Free pizza crust

Gluten free pizza sauces

The rest is just gravy, and it depends on what you like, or perhaps what you can find in your fridge.

My kids love cheese pizza with bacon.

So, I cut up a generous amount of bacon, fried them, and put them aside.

Bacon!

Hubby and I prefer a pizza with more stuff on it. So, I sliced up one tomato, some Canadian bacon, and I happened to have half of a Portuguese sausage in my fridge that was left over from a weekend breakfast.

Fresh ingredients

I sliced up the sausage and Canadian bacon, and set them aside with some fresh sweet basil.

Oh, and I chopped up some garlic. I always put fresh garlic on my pizzas.

After practice, I pre-heat the oven to 475 degrees, then start to put the pizzas together.

I spread my gluten free pizza sauce onto my GF pizza dough. If you like ranch dressing like we do, it makes a great pizza sauce! It does, try it.

Pizza crust covered in Ranch dressing

For pizza #1, I spread Mozzarella cheese on top of the Ranch dressing sauce, then added the pre-cooked bacon, and sprinkle it with fresh chopped up garlic.

Bacon white pizza

For pizza #2, I spread cheese on top of the pizza sauce, added tomato slices, arranged the Canadian bacon and Portuguese sausage on top, then added the fresh sweet basil and garlic.

I put the pizzas in the oven at 475 degrees for 10 minutes. After I return from a quick shower, the pizzas were perfectly ready to be eaten.

Yum...

So delicious, and a good way to get rid of random leftovers sitting in the fridge too.

Category: Parents Leave a Comment

Apr

Who Needs a Coach When You Have Google

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We just sat down to a late dinner last Tuesday.

“You will not believe what happened to me today.” me.

“What happened?” 14 year-old looked up from across the dinner table.

“You know how I signed up to be Tasterbach’s assistant Volleyball coach?” me.

“Yeah.” 14 year-old.

“Well! Today at the opening, I saw on the roster that our team had no head coach listed!” me, wide eyed.

“So, who is the real coach?” 14 year-old.

“Exactly! I went and asked the site director, and do you know what she said?” me.

“What?” teen.

“She said that makes me the head coach!!” me, even more wide eyed.

“Ha, ha, ha..” teen.

I was not upset with the teen. That was my sentiment also. I only signed up to be the assistant coach, thinking I would be helping out with setting up the court, taking down the court, and running around to retrieve run-away balls for the team in between.

“EXACTLY! I told her that I can’t coach the team. I don’t actually know how to play volleyball, and I have never coached any sport before.” me.

“What did she say?” teen.

“She said sorry. There is no one else to coach this team.” me.

“I am totally stressed out. I don’t know how to coach, and I don’t know how to play volleyball. I am 100% under qualified for this job!” me, totally unhappy with my unexpected promotion.

“Don’t worry, Mom. You just Google how to coach volleyball. It will probably take you to wikiHow, and it will give you step by step instructions on how to teach volleyball to your kids.” teen.

Blank stare at the teen.

“Seriously! Try it. It will be easy.” teen, fully convinced with this advice.

How to Coach Volleyball on wikHow

I survived two practice sessions with my team of 7 kids already.

Volleyball practice

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A New Experience

Category: Kids, Parents One Comment

Apr

Meet Dawn

admin

The Norwegian Dawn, that is.

Norwegian Dawn

Ladies and gentlemen, I survived my first cruise.

I have always shunned cruises.

The very idea of being trapped in a boat with thousands of people in the middle of the sea made me queasy. Its notorious amount of food and nonstop feeding frenzy has to be a health hazard. Thousands of overfed cruise passengers disembarking onto the port has always prompted me to turn around and get away fast.

But for one week, I became the cruise tourist I have always feared. I even played the part well.

I ate indiscriminately from morning to bedtime. Hey, if they kept the buffet open until midnight, it meant I should feed myself just before going to bed.

Buffet spread

I yelled, screamed, and clapped whenever prompted to do so by their hyper-energetic cruise entertainers.

Pool deck white party

I danced too.

Dancing the night away

I participated in day excursions in beautiful settings heavily burdened by commercialization.

The set up on Playa Mia

Cave tubing

The locals armed with goods and food greeted us with extraordinary high price tags, I paid and smiled at them.

Local Gift shop

I got back on the boat, stole a peaceful moment in the comfort of my own balcony, and took in the beauty of the local scenery one last time before sailing away.

Roatan Island

Cozumel port

Ship sailed.

Leaving port

I went to get more food.

Category: Family Travel Blogs Leave a Comment

Mar

When You Have a Problem with Krispy Kreme

admin

My sister recently got me this 5 lb bag of Jules Gluten Free flour. She knew I am still on my baking binge. Bless her heart.

Gluten free flour

In the past, a 5 lb bag of flour could take me 10 years to use. I did not bake, and rarely used flour in my cooking. But now, with a young celiac in the house, who often craves sweet dough, I quickly took up baking.

Last Sunday, I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making gluten free donuts.

I simply mixed some egg, vanilla, buttermilk, and cooking oil into my flour, and turned it into dough that took on the scent of heavenly vanilla and buttermilk.

GF dough

A nice roller pin and donut cutter shaped the dough.

Get in shape! donuts

I popped the dough into a fryer hot with oil, and in just a few short minutes, we got fresh gluten free donuts!!

Just of the fryer

All donuts deserve a good glaze. So, I wiped up a quick glaze with the help of lot of powdered sugar, a small amount of milk, and a small amount of maple syrup.

homemade syrup

This simple syrup glazed my donuts beautifully.

glazed donut

Of course, one must not forget to make some donut holes…

Perfect donut holes

In about an hour or so, we got a fresh plate of glazed donuts, sugar donuts, cinnamon sugar donuts, and donut holes.

Gluten free donut is served

It is not fair to say that I am on a mission to feed delicious gluten free foods to my baby. I am simply obsessed about it!

As our stomachs were still digesting the donuts, a fresh loaf of gluten free buttermilk bread came out of our bread machine, looking and smelling magnificent.

Gluten free buttermilk bread

You know it is good bread when the gluten-eating members of the family were demanding their fair share too.

Category: Parents Leave a Comment

Mar

When I Turn 18…

admin

“Time for dinner!” I shouted out to the kids.

Kids came running down the stairs, and plopped down to their chairs.

After a couple of gulps of milk, they busied themselves with piling food onto their plates.

“Hey! My cousin just moved out of her parents’ house last weekend!” I said.

The kids nodded.

“It is about time! She is 28 already.” me.

“Well, she did just finish graduate school.” me.

Kids ate rather quietly.

“I did encourage her to move out. Young people must establish their independence, and learn to live on their own.” me.

Kids chewing.

“I love you kids, but when you grow up, you must learn to be independent.” me.

Every now and then, I found myself conducting a conversation all by myself at the dinner table, so their silence wasn’t unusual. (In case you were worried about me.)

“Your mom and dad can not take care of you forever, so you must learn to live on your own, and do it well.” me.

“Just like those cute lion and cheetah cubs you saw in South Africa, those cute little things will need to master the skills to kill and hunt on their own someday to survive.” me.

“It is actually not much different for us humans…” me.

“Mom.” 14 year-old interrupted.

I looked up at my teen.

“When I turn 18…” 14 year-old paused for dramatic effect.

It worked, all eyes were on her.

“You guys are moving out.” 14 year-old.

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Category: Humor, Kids, Parents 2 Comments

Feb

Cupcakes and Churros

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“Mom, can we invite my friends over for a playdate?” 11 year-old.

“Sure.” I said without giving a thought.

“Can we have cupcakes for the playdate?” 11 year-old.

“Sure.” me.

Again, I replied too quickly, and without thinking. I am a hopeless pleaser to my kids.

Cupcakes are easier said than done these days. My baby has Celiac disease. I would have to drive a great distance to buy the gluten free versions, and dough out a huge amount of money.

Why not make them myself? Great idea! I decided to make them from scratch.

Though I am an inexperienced baker, my first batch of gluten free cupcakes came out of the oven looking beautiful, and smelling like cupcake heaven.

Homemade gluten free cupcakes

Do you know what’s the difference between homemade cupcakes and store bought ones? Well, it is the icing on the cake!

Instead of smearing icing on top of the cupcakes with a knife, I bought this icing bag.

Icing bag

I carefully piped the icing on top of the cupcakes, and showered them with colorful sprinkles.

My cupcakes were a huge hit.

Cupcakes + icing

As I was cleaning the icing bag, a new inspiration popped into my brain. The opening part of the bag looked like a churro shape. I should make churros with this!

Churros were a favorite food of my 11 year-old, and she could no longer eat it since being diagnosed with Celiac a year ago.

How hard can it be to fry some dough, and toss it in some sugar and cinnamon…

Next day, I went about to make churros.

I got a batch of gluten free dough, I put the dense dough into my icing bag, with the biggest star shape tip.

Churro dough in icing bag

I piped a 4 inch length dough straight into the hot oil frying pot, and within a few minutes, they turned nicely golden.

frying the churros

I coated them in my sugar and cinnamon mixture.

freshly fried churros tossed in the sugar and cinnamon mixture

I proudly present my first batch of delicious (and gluten free!) churros.

My gluten free churros

Category: Parents One Comment

Feb

My Un-Valentine

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On Valentine’s day, I got a card from my 14 year-old with this nasty note written all over the envelope.

Un-Valentine message

I may have done something to deserve this wrath…

Earlier that day.

“Hey kids! You got Valentine’s day cards from Nai Nai.” I shouted out, as I drop the mail on the kitchen island.

14 year-old promptly walked over and tore open her card. A ten dollar bill fell to the floor.

“Ha! MONEY!!!” 14 year-old.

That got my 11 year-old’s attention. The baby dropped the book she was reading, and ran over excitedly.

My two children are always money hungry these days.

I eyed the baby, and said, “Just because Nai Nai give Thee ten dollars, doesn’t mean you will have ten dollars in your card too.”

The baby crossed her arms, and gave me that don’t be silly look.

14 year-old ran upstairs with her money.

11 year-old opened her card, and sure enough, she waved a ten dollar bill at me.

That’s when my head grew a pair of horns…

I took a clean twenty dollar bill out of my wallet, and swapped it with the baby’s ten dollar bill.

“Go upstairs, and wave this twenty dollar bill in one hand, and your card on the other hand at your sister.” I whispered.

A big mischievous smile appeared across the baby’s face. We were in cahoots.

Soon enough, the expected growling and gleaming voices were heard upstairs. The baby is good at acting!

I ran upstairs, pretending to investigate their little crisis.

“What’s going on?” me.

The baby showed me her twenty.

I took the bill into my hands, and gave it a good look.

“I thought you said you got a ten?” I said to my 14 year-old.

“I did get a ten!!” 14 year-old, looking slighted.

“But this is a TWENTY!” I said incredulously.

“Nai Nai gave you a ten, gave your sister a TWENTY?!!” sounding even more incredulously.

14 year-old nodding her head up and down, looking all sad.

“This can’t be right. I don’t believe this. You must have looked wrong. Nai Nai must have given you a twenty too.” me.

14 year-old ran back into her room, and came back with her ten dollar bill to show me.

“Wow, wow…” me.

The baby was conducting her happy dance all around us, waving the twenty.

“Well, Nai Nai is getting old, she must of made a mistake. I am sure she meant to gave you each a ten or each a twenty. I am sure she didn’t mean to give your sister twice more than you.” I tried not to laugh.

“I thought Nai Nai is my homie, but she is not…” 14 year-old pouted sullenly.

“Nai Nai likes me more than you.” 11 year-old was piling it on.

14 year-old looked even more crushed.

“Well, maybe because your sister has Celiac, and Nai Nai knows that her gluten free snacks cost twice as much as your snacks. So, she gets more money than you.” I offered a new theory.

14 year-old shook her head. She rejected my words of comfort.

After torturing my teen for a good 10 minutes, I had to come clean. I wouldn’t want Nai Nai to get into unearned trouble.

I took the ten dollar bill out of my pocket, and swapped it with the baby’s twenty.

“We got you!” I said, as my baby and I melted onto the floor laughing.

“THAT’S RUDE!!”, protested the teen.

Later that night, she handed me a Valentine’s card, it came with a nasty message all over the card envelope. Inside the card, under each word “LOVE”, she written “Bacon” under it. She was professing her love for bacon on my Valentine’s day card!

LOVE Bacon

That little pig.

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Category: Humor, Kids, Parents One Comment

Feb

Get in Shape, Squid!

admin

The crispy rings and tentacles known as calamari starts its life looking like this beast.

Squid

Ever since my baby was diagnosed with Celiac Disease a year ago, we found that the poor child is unable to eat most of her favorite foods in the restaurants. Old favorites such as French fries, onion rings, and Calamari are totally off limits. Very few restaurants offer gluten free fried food, and even if the ingredients happened to be gluten free, even fewer restaurants have dedicated gluten free fryers.

I will just make these restaurant foods at home. How hard can that be?

Gluten free onion rings

So, on most Sunday afternoons, I pair myself with a glass of my homemade Sangria, cook up a storm, and make the house take on the aroma of a restaurant.

calamari in marinate

I have never prepared calamari before. So, I found this helpful Youtube video on how to clean and prepare it.

I quickly gutted and peeled off the outer layer of thin skin like the video taught me. It wasn’t hard, though it wasn’t a pretty process.

Gutted and cleaned

Cooking Method:

1) I cut up the cleaned calamari into rings and tentacles, and treated them with salt and pepper, a dash of lime, and some cooking alcohol.

salt, pepper, and seafood seasoning

2) For the dry mixture, I used about half a cup of cornmeal, a half cup of gluten free flour (you can use your regular flour), about a teaspoon of baking powder, and a splash of pepper.

GF dry mixture

3) I threw the calamari pieces into the flour/cornmeal mixture, and gave it a good toss.

Ready for the fryer

4) I heated up cooking oil in a fryer. I used a small pot to minimize oil usage.

5) I dropped a few pieces into the hot oil one at a time.

6) Each piece is only in the fryer for 1 to 2 minutes, no longer!

7) I served it with the appeal of a restaurant dish. A couple wedges of lime, basil, and a gluten free Chipotle Mayo sauce. (Store bought!)

GF Calamari is served!

Very easy indeed.

Category: Parents 2 Comments

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