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“Tasterbach! You got Chinese Honor Roll!! I am SO proud of you!” I run over to my baby, rain down hugs and kisses on my 9-year-old, unable to contain my happiness.

The baby was unmoved, just stood still under all my motherly affection, stared at me with an inquisitive frown.

“I just found your Honor Roll certificate from Chinese school! It was in your school bag.” me, pointing at the certificate I just dumped out onto the floor.

Chinese school Honor Roll certificate


“I am so happy that you got on the honor roll in your Chinese school. I can’t believe it!!” me, all smiling and overjoyed.

Baby was curiously stone faced.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I might give you a big present for this.” me, so happy.

“She gave a certificate to everyone in the class.” baby flatly stated.

“Oh.”me.

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22
May

In Chinese culture, one cannot yell at the elderly. But I am an equal opportunity yeller when prompted. Yesterday, I gave my dad a good yelling.

My parents are in their mid-to-late seventies, and they live 7 hours away by car. I call on my parents at least once a week to check up on them. I don’t like surprises from them.

Our phone conversation had started with our usual high spirit and good humor. I always end the conversation by asking about their health in general, if they are sleeping, eating, and pooping well (Yes, constipation can be a real jerk to the elderly, why do you think they have those nasty prune juice on the shelves.)

“Everything is good this week with us.” my dad reported.

“Oh, good! No problem this week then.” me.

“Actually, I have one problem.” dad.

“What is YOUR problem?” me, most of the problems usually came from my mother.

“I am walking with a serious limp these days. And my foot is quite swollen.” dad stated dryly.

“WHAT?!” I thundered sharply over the phone, leaped out of the couch.

“You need to go back to the doctor! When are you going back to the doctor??!” me.

“I don’t ever want to see that doctor again! He messed up my foot. I already didn’t go to our last appointment.” dad.

“ARE YOU FIVE?!!” me, fuming, furious with him, “You have to go back and see him! Right away.”

“He is a bad doctor.” dad.

“No.” me, “YOU are a bad patient.”

“No, no, no,…he is a bad doctor. He gave me bad surgery. And now I walk with a limp, and my foot is swollen.” dad.

My dad had a very minor 15 minute long outpatient surgery on his foot a couple of months ago. It was supposed to take a week to two weeks to recover, at the most.

“Heavens! You had this small surgery 2 months ago. I don’t know if he is a good or bad doctor, but I told you to listen to the doctor and follow his instructions 100%. You didn’t listen.” me, no volume control there.

“I did listen to him.” dad, sound very defensive. Maybe a tad of hurt, that I wasn’t taking his side.

“I told you. I told you. More than once, a lot more than once. You must follow his instructions when you get home. If you don’t, bad thing might happen to your foot. And when bad thing happens, I will not have any sympathy for you.” I explained myself to him very sternly.

“I did follow his instructions.” dad.

“NO YOU DIDN’T!” me, yelling at the phone, “ You cut the bandages off your foot yourself!! You were supposed to wait for the doctor to remove the bandage at your follow-up visit.”

Yes, he removed the bandage off of his foot just days after the surgery himself, because the bandage was a great inconvenience to him.

Silence on the other end of the phone.

“Remember! You even called me that you didn’t like to have the bandage on your foot, and wanted to just cut it all off. I said No, No, No, No, No then.” me.

“Hee, hee, he…” he seemed to remember, and tried to laugh it off.

“You better call this doctor, and have him see your foot as soon as possible. It is swollen. Probably infected or something.” I instructed him.

“Alright, maybe I will go see him next week.” he conceded.

“MAYBE? Quit acting like a child! If you don’t see a doctor soon, your foot will grow even bigger. If you wait too long, maybe they will cut off some toes or half of your foot!” me.

“Okay. Okay, I will go see him.” dad.

“And be nice to him, don’t complain that he gave you bad surgery. You need his help, to see why it is still swollen.” me.

“You call him tomorrow. And go in to see him as soon as possible.” me, very bossy tone.

“Okay. I will.” me.

I am generously giving him an extra day. I will call him tomorrow. If he hasn’t called his doctor to make an appointment. I will have to yell at him some more.

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I had a fabulous Mother’s day celebration last Sunday. But it was a home-made card that my 9-year-old gave me that really made my day. I love, love, love, this Mother’s Day card.

As my children are getting older, I knew that the days of those adorable hand-made cards are severely numbered if not already gone. By now, they already figured out that for a few bucks, they can just buy an adorable card that Hallmark made. I was only too happy to be wrong, not only did I receive a hand-made card, it is also much more thoughtful and grandeur.

Page 1:

When I come home, you are always preparing a good meal for me

Page 2:

You are a very funny person

Page 3:

You are always giving me good advice

Page 4:

You always take me to special places

Page 5:

You always help correct my homework

Page 6:

You are always giving me the encouragement I need.

Page 7:

You are the best mom!!!

Alright, gotta run. I have a 9-year-old to spoil….

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Category: Kids, Parents  One Comment

Let yourselves be warned, that a totally unexpected huge problem will follow.

Had you read my previous entry about Middle School Fashion Police, you would known that my 12-year-old is suffering from fashion unacceptance at the hands of a few miserable mean girls at school.

Truth be told, I did not know how to deal with this problem. The idea of contacting the school administrators to correct these girls’ subtle bullying behavior seemed over the top, and would most definitely ensure that my 12-year-old would never share any school dramas with me ever again.

After much consideration, I decided to apply the rarely used strategy of: If you can’t beat them, join them.

Last Sunday, I took the kids to the mall, and told my 12-year-old to pick out whatever clothes she wanted.

I thought this was brilliant. Oh yeah, she will feel really secure now, and will know that when she comes to me with a problem, she can count on me to plot a plan for all of us to suffer together.

We walked into a store called Justice at the the mall. My 12-year-old picked out a number of clothing articles there, and handed them to me one by one. Clothing articles that I would never put my hands on otherwise, and caused me to wince when I knew she wasn’t looking.

We walked out of Justice with a full large bag. Then I cured my annoyance by stopping by Gymboree to buy clothes for my 9-year-old. My baby is still happy for me to shop for her.

Just look at this adorable and sophisticated outfit my 9-year-old will be adorned in from Gymboree!

And look at this alien outfit that my 12-year-old got…

On the drive home, I was feeling proud of myself. I really did allow my 12-year-old to make her own choices, and did not once use my veto power at the mall.

I was certain that my child is feeling empowered, grown up, independent, happy, secure…

“Mom.” 12-year-old interrupted my glowing thoughts.

“What?” me.

“I want Tasterbach out of my room now.” 12-year-old.

“WHAT?! Why?” me and my 9-year-old together.

My two kids got along great, and are often inseparable. They demanded to be moved into one bedroom a few years ago, and shared a room very splendidly over the years.

“I want my own room now.” 12-year-old answered matter-of-factly.

Empowered, grown up, secure…flashing loudly in my head.

“Tasterbach. You will have to move back into your own room. She wants her privacy now.” me.

9-year-old began pouting and crossing of the arms to display her displeasure.

“I want a real desk in my room.” 12-year-old.

I suppose a 12-year-old can legitimately outgrow her toddler table set.

“That’s fine. We will get you a study desk for your room.” me, still empowering…

“Oh, I also want a TV in my room, and a soda machine.” 12-year-old.

Me blinking: this “empowering” business is going TOO FAR.

I commanded in my very loud voice, “There will be no soda machine in your room! And most definitely no TV in your bedroom!! ”

“Why most definitely no TV?” 12-year-old.

“BECAUSE!” I turned to give my 12-year-old the eye to eye, “If we put a TV in your room, we might never see you again. I like to see you from time to time.”

As soon as we arrived home, the newly empowered one lead my husband and I upstairs to assess how best to move my baby out of her room quickly.

Over the years, my baby’s bedroom had turned into a library/reading room and toy room. What made things worse is that the room had been assaulted by numerous science projects during the science fair season. There is currently a long florescent light structure hanging inside the closet.

There is going to be a day of declutter and clean up before we can move the baby’s bed back.

In the mean time, the baby was a pitiful mess laying on the sofa downstairs, depressed about being kicked out of her sister’s room all of sudden.

“Hey, I got an idea!” hubby blurted out excitedly.

“We can paint Tasterbach’s room.” hubby, “Then she will get excited and will want to move back to her old room.”

CRAB!!! Of course, the baby will want to paint her room.

I knew the idea would work , but I hated it anyway. This meant I will have to engage the three of them on round two of the battle of the paint colors.

I am not afraid of colors. But it has been established that the kids’ idea of wall paint colors is absolutely horrid.

On our last round of paint color war, we comprised on painting just one of their two bedrooms, and we settled on painting the room with a bright yellow sun, a light shade of blue, and wavy shades of green.

I also agreed to let them abuse one of the four walls with this honeycomb fantasy thing.

Both sides proclaimed this paint job a win.

Now I have outdone myself empowering the 12-year-old, got a new desk to buy, a new room to paint, and a huge paint color battle ahead.

I will be ruthless. I will not empower the 9-year-old.

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Category: Humor, Kids, Parents  2 Comments

“What is up with the way you dress these days?” I shot this question to my 12-year-old just as we sat down to dinner a couple nights ago.

“What do you mean?” she replied without looking up.

“I mean…” me, “By the way, where did you get those super tight skinny jeans?”

“Dad bought them for me.” the kid replied with a mischievous grin.

Hubby was working late as usual. I made a mental note to have a chat with him later, and will forbid him from buying clothes for the kids.

“Okay. Then explain this ridiculously small hot pink tank-top, that does not provide the necessary coverage to even call it clothing!” me.

“That’s why I wear a t-shirt inside of my tank-top.” 12-year-old.

“Exactly! You look like a demented teenager all of sudden.” me.

“And this purple strand of hair you got!” me.

“It’s FAKE!” 12-year-old.

“I know! But why?” me.

12-year-old got quiet.

My 9-year-old was watching us with great interest, while chewing on the dinner.

“Tell me why.” me, in my demanding tone.

“This group of girls at school always make fun of me. They tell me that I look stupid.” 12-year-old said with a sad kind of look.

“You don’t look stupid! I do all your shopping at Gymboree and GapKids.” me, seriously offended.

“Exactly.” 12-year-old said pointedly.

“Oh, you mean, the kids laugh at you because I send you to school wearing this purple tee with a giraffe across it, and the giraffe has these big googly eyes, and long eye lashes?” I said thoughtfully.

12-year-old nodded, “Let’s not forget the light blue colored polka dot capri shorts you think goes so well with this giraffe shirt.”

“Fine. No more Gymboree for you. They stop at age 12 anyway.” me.

“Tell me more about these girls at school. Do you know any of them?” me.

“I don’t know any of them. They are a group of 4 or 5 girls, all 8th graders. They like to tell me and a few other kids that we look stupid everyday after school. They are like the school fashion police. ” 12-year-old.

“Everyday! They make fun of you everyday?” me.

“Yes, everyday. They have been doing this for a long time now. Well, except most of the Fridays.” 12-year-old.

“Why not on Fridays?” me.

“Because on Fridays, they usually have detention after school.” 12-year-old.

“And how do these girls dress?” me.

“Well…” 12-year-old, “Actually, they are these kids that get cited a lot for clothing violations, and the school make them change into their PE clothes in the middle of the day.”

“……..” me.

“They like to wear very short skirts, and see-through tops.” 12-year-old, started to chuckle.

Ah, the peer pressure… I conducted many, many talk sessions with my kids to warn them against the threaded peer pressure.

“Didn’t I tell you?! That overwhelming majority of teens are morons. So, if you give in to their peer pressure, you will also become a moron!” me.

“You kids prefer to be smart, right?!” me.

Both kids were nodding energetically.

I was disappointed that my child had resorted to conform with these bullies’ fashion ideas.

Later that evening.

“Mom, we are really!” The kids shouted from upstairs. This means that they were set for bed, and were ready for me to kiss them good night. Yes, this 12-year-old still expected her mommy to tuck her in at night.

A quick idea popped into my head. I decided to entertain them with an one-person skit…

I stumped upstairs with deliberate loud steps, while screaming, “ MOMmmm….!!!

I entered their bedroom, and found the kids staring back at me looking bewildered. Good. I got their attention.

“Mom! The kids at school are laughing at me. They said that I look stupid.” me, acting as if I were my 12-year-old.

I jumped around to play the role of myself next, looking awfully concerned, “What kids?! What do they look like?”

I jumped back to play my 12-year-old again, “ The kids who get clothing citations at school all the time. They wear short, short bottoms, and see-through tops.”

I jumped around to play myself again, “Oh great! We will get you some skinny jeans that will fit you like a pair of tights. And we will find you a spaghetti strap tank-top at least 3 sizes too small.” me, then clapping my hands and acting super excited, “Uh, then may be they will let you join them at their Friday detentions.”

The kids were floored by my performance, as they rolled on the bedroom carpet holding their stomachs laughing, in their totally adorable Gymboree pjs.

Gymboree pj

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I have been walking around my neighborhood looking like a dignified Asian tourist for the past few days.

Nikon D3000


With this huge camera around my neck, I snapped random pictures of flowers in my own backyard, and on the front lawns of my neighbors.

In the early mornings, when I take the kids to school, I see neighbors zooming through our residential streets quickly. They seem too busy to notice the fresh beauty brought on by the gentle powers of spring.

It is beautiful out this time of the year. Everywhere you look, fresh flowers are in full bloom with brilliant colors waving mildly in the light wind.

Here are some of my pictures taken just a day or two ago.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the victims of the Boston bombings. Life is precious.

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Category: Parents  One Comment

I didn’t know what I signed up for when I wanted children.

Yesterday, motherhood had turned me into a political activist. I am not thrilled about this.

My 12-year-old was placed in our middle school’s coveted leadership class, and she is one of the only four 7th graders in the class. In order to earn an “A” in the class, a minimum of 25 hours of community service is required for each 10 week quarter. We quickly realized that this is a daunting task, simply because all reasonable places we contacted did not want free service from a 12-year-old.

Sacred Heart Community Service was the one exception in our area. They provide free services, food, and clothing to the poor. Sacred Heart allows middle-schoolers, except an adult volunteer is required to chaperone the young volunteer.

We duly attended the orientation a couple of months ago, and have been signing up for two hour slots after school to volunteer together.

Either one of us looked forward to work these two hours. You shouldn’t blame us. Because my daughter is only 12 and new to this organization, we are only allowed to work in the warehouse, where the work is the most boring, and the two hours seemed forever long. But, we are the kind of people who are willing to do anything for an “A”. Well, almost anything…

Yesterday, we went in for our 2 hour slots.

We were immediately surprised at the number of volunteers in the warehouse and out in the public area. They usually don’t schedule that many volunteers to show up at the same time. We had been told that most volunteers aren’t allowed to work in the public area.

After spending a long hour, pouring bags of donated clothing into the large bins, and digging through them to sort them out according to guidelines and hang them up on racks, the warehouse supervisor walked in with an exciting announcement.

“Today, at 4 o’clock, we have a different activity for those of you that want to do something different.” he said to the whole group.

“Like what?” asked a teenager standing behind me.

“You can go to our courtyard for the next hour. You will just be drawing some posters and listen to stories.” his answer.

My 12-year-old and I immediately looked at each other with big ear-to-ear grins on our faces.

“Who wants to go?” the young supervisor asked.

I raised both my hands. I did.

Soon, a small army of us gathered and followed him through internal hallways to an outdoor courtyard inside the compound.

Our eyes all seemed to be draw to the table of refreshments set up on a row of tables that lined one side of the courtyard.

“Are we allowed to eat these?” a few young volunteers asked in giggling voices.

We were told to go to one of the tables that are set up with posters, color pens and markers, glues, scissors etc.

We sat down on a table with another mom and her young daughter. That’s when I turned and saw the sun lite corner of the courtyard with the podium and microphone, and behind it a BIG banner with “Immigration Reform” on it.

Oh! They didn’t mention anything about that.

Another staff walked over to us. She gave us very specific instructions on making the poster. They were also copies of the instructions written in English and Spanish on our table.

The other mom and I proceeded to gave our young daughters step-by-step instructions to make the poster.

In the mean time, more and more volunteers filed in, and people began to step on the podium to tell us stories in Spanish and in English. I heard clips of the speech about living in this country with fears of being caught and deported.

As the four of us worked on the posters, a camera man approached us and began to film our table. This put me ill at ease. I pointed at the two of us and politely told him that we prefer to not be on their camera. Surprising me further on this day, he did not stop.

A second camera man came to our table to shoot, and I decided to surrender to his cause, and did not protest.

Half an hour had passed by, our table’s two posters were completed. The four of us sat there and waited for the time to pass.

The staff walked over to us, leading another group of 3 young volunteers. She asked us to vacant the table, so they can make posters.

“Okay. What do you want us to do with our posters?” the other mom asked.

“Any minute now, the media people will come. They are supposed to be here at 4:30. When they arrive, we want you to hold your posters and just stand in the middle of the courtyard.” she flatly stated.

SHOCKED out of my wits. I gasped and stared back at her with my eyes popped out.

“When the press people arrive. We want you to hold your posters up and stand in the middle of the courtyard.” She felt necessary to repeat these same instructions to me, then walked off onto other volunteers.

I took in the scene once more, and saw the place predominately filled with volunteers. All wearing the same blue boarded white name stickers as us, mostly teens probably from local high schools and colleges here to fulfill their community service obligations.

A small political rally


I could feel my anger boiling inside my head. I was angry with Sacred Heart for using us, innocent volunteers, as tools for their political agenda!

It didn’t matter if this rally is for or against Immigration Reform. We did not go there to appear on the local evening news as activists for any political cause. I was mortified with the idea of appearing on the local news like some psycho mom who would take her young child to a political event on a perfectly sunny and warm Wednesday afternoon holding signs, and perhaps chanting slogans.

I put down the poster on a table nearby. Then said to my 12-year-old, “We are not here for this. We are leaving right now.”

I walked out of the courtyard quickly, with my 12-year-old running behind me, “Why? Can I get some strawberries first? Or how about the lemonade?”

“No! The news people are coming.” I quickened my steps.

“Why?” 12-year-old.

Inside our car, I had to explain to my 12-year-old that Sacred Heart had deceitfully tricked us into participating in their political event. And that is a real shame.

After driving in a few minutes of silence. I recalled something pleasant…

“Remember a couple of months ago, you found a 3 hour long volunteering job planting trees with a group?” me.

“Yeah.” the kid.

“See if you can find these people to go plant trees with them again.” me.

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I had been suffering from Bubble Pop addiction. It is one of the games that found its way onto my cell phone.

The Bubble Pop game on my phone


Admittedly, this is too silly a game to even warrant a description. But I was incredibly fond of it. Every waking idle moment, I found myself reaching for my phone to play Bubble Pop.

There was one other reason that I favored this game above others. This was the only game that I can consistently beat both of my kids at. Yes, they beat me at all other games. They would often hold up the phone proudly in my face showing off their enviable scores on that cursed Temple Run game. (Temple Run used to be my favorite).

Just the other day…

“Hey! Look at my High Score!” me, as soon as my 12-year-old got into the car after school.

“WOW! 624.” 12-year-old.

“Yeah. Didn’t you get a 152 yesterday after school?” me turning to the back seat to look at the kid.

12-year-old stared back at me shame-faced. I smiled, then added, “Even Tasterbach can get into the 300s.” I handed my phone to my 12-year-old, and proceeded to drive to my 9-year-old’s school.

We drove in silence.

“Mom. If I beat your high score. Will you buy me an ice cream sundae?” 12-year-old.

“We are talking about Bubble Pop, right?” me.

“Yes.” 12-year-old.

“Sure! I will buy you a huge banana split.” me, “It will be so delicious….ha, ha, ha…”

In a few minutes’ time…

“678.” 12-year-old.

“No way!” me.

“Really! Look!” the kid reached from the back, and showed me the score on the phone.

My jaw dropped.

“How do you do it! You barely EVER reach 300!” me, “UNBELIEVABLE!!!” I was screaming inside the car. The kid was laughing and cheering wildly. Adolescents are so obnoxious.

I took the kids to Baskin-Robbins to fulfill the promised reward.

The kids were eating and giggling uncontrollably, probably overdosing from the sugar high.

I fretted with my phone. Every now and then, I eyed these kids with a degree of contempt, as they ate the sundae. I was also very worried about ever beating the new high score of 678, and being dethroned for good from Bubble Pop.

“I LOVE Bubble Pop. Here, let me play it again.” 12-year-old.

I handed the phone over.

“You are insanely lucky! I can’t believe that you made me an impossible bet, and actually won.” me.

“Oh look. 1211.” 12-year-old, held the phone to my face again.

Speechless…

“I changed the settings on your game, mom.” 12-year-old.

“What settings?! There are settings on my game?” me. I have been playing it for months!

“Yes. I changed the setting, so I can get high scores very easily.” 12-year-old grinning.

The 9-year-old hurled out more laughter with two streaks of melting ice cream running down her chin. Not cute.

“Remember that time when I got 5 million points on Temple Run 1?” 12-year-old.

“Yeah, you showed it to everyone.” me.

“There was a bug in that game. I found a trick to play it where my little running person never had to die.” said the smarty pants.

“WHAT? Why didn’t you share that trick with me? I would love to play that game never having to die off.” me.

“They fixed that bug now. Can’t do it anymore.” 12-year-old, “But I can get you 1500 points on your bubble game!”.

I have since been cured of my Bubble Pop addiction.

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See this face?

Yucky Food Face


This is the stinky face I get just about every time I tried to introduce a new flavor to my now 12-year-old.

“Oh, this is just a phase. Every kid have them. They will grow out of it.” These were the comforting words our pediatrician gave me every time I bring this up during our doctor visits.

Unless I am growing a giant redwood tree, you just can’t call 12 years a “phase”!

This kid will very soon outgrow the kids menu, but still greets most food with the same repulsive expression

Hate New Food Face

on her now adolescent face, with an added gesture of a thumbs down.

When we go to restaurants, they must entertain her with the choices of Mac-n-Cheese, Plain Cheese burger, Cheese Pizza, Pasta with butter sauce, bread and butter, and milk.

Miraculously, my tween has managed to grow to my height despite her severely limited diet.

Recently, even the restaurants we frequented have began to hand her the regular menu.

“Can I have the kids menu?” the 12-year-old would tell our waitress with a winsome smile.

Winsome Smiling Face


The waitress would return with the kids menu and a box of crayons.

“Look!” my 12-year-old would point at the menu, “It says 12 and under.”

“What happens in a few months, when you turn 13?” me.

“I will eat off of her plate.” pointing at our 9-year-old.

Just the other night, after the kids are in bed. I lamented to my husband, “We need a plan to get her to eat grown-up food…”

Silence.

I decided a bit of drama is necessary to engage my husband in yet another round of discussion concerning our firstborn’s eating habit, so, I started, “I worry. She grows up. A nice young man takes her on a date to a nice restaurant. She feeds off of the kids menu, and scares him away.”

“Hey! Some men appreciate a cheap date!” hubby.

“FINE! You just sit tight and keep waiting for this phase to end then.” me.

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Category: Kids, Parents  One Comment

Once in a while, my body craves a sinister burger. The kind that is juicy and drippy with ketchup, mayonnaise, ranch dressing… uh, and thick pieces of bacon….

Homemade all natural burger


That mood struck me yesterday. But don’t count on me to pick up my car keys, and drive out to the nearest McDonald’s. Oh, no. I prefer much more trouble to eat a burger. I took a short drive to one of my favorite local market, and picked up fresh ingredients to make a healthy burger dinner for the whole family.

Now, don’t interrupt the word healthy as non-fat or even low-fat burger. Because that would be silly! If I want to eat a burger, then bring on the fat.

My idea of a healthy home cooked burger just meant fresh and organic ingredients. Such as organic red leafy butter lettuce, tomato, avocado, and onion.

All organic fixings


Then I pile these goodness onto these wholesome organic wheat thin sandwich buns, spread with organic mayonnaise and ranch dressing.

Thin wheat buns and organic dressing


I also bought over a pound of all natural 100% grass fed ground beef.

The burger is an incredibly easy meal to make. It mostly require some washing, and the only thing to that needs a bit of work is the beef.

I simply added salt and pepper to the beef, and added some finely chopped garlic. Then added a beaten egg with Worcestershire sauce to the beef mixture.

All natural beef


I rolled the beef mixture into a ball, then flatten the patties out, and cook the patties on my stove. I add slices of cheese to the burger just before they are done, so the cheese are nicely melted.

I also pan fried slices of thick cut bacon to add to the burger.

Wha-la!

Homemade gourmet burger is ready to be served!


I served the burger with a side of broccoli sauteed with garlic, making it into a yummy and guilt-free meal.

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